I am an Expert at Covering my Brokenness

Brokenness has been one central theme over the past 10 days; it's everywhere - not just in Haiti.  This morning's news included an arrest of a mother in Kansas City who locked her 10-year-old daughter in the closet, and now the child weighs 32 pounds.  The precious orphanage in Haiti that we love so much represents many broken families due to the 90+ orphans who now live there.


Carlee and I were in the pool with three amazing Haitian toddlers this morning, and I can't imagine the brokenness that they have witnessed in their short time here on earth.  Even the top step on the pool ladder is broken.


I keep thinking about the contrast between brokenness in Haiti and brokenness in America.  Jacob Warren (a college student on Team 1) delivered an insightful devotion about the brokenness in both worlds, and I really enjoyed his thought-provoking ideas.  I think his devotion really made me start pondering this concept.


Today I have realized I am a disturbing expert at covering my brokenness. I am not whole.  I am broken, smashed, crushed, and damaged; however, in America it is easier for me to hide my brokenness.  I can hide it with lots of projects and work.  I can hide it with a several spoonfuls of cookie dough. I can hide it with a new shirt. I can hide weariness with a jolt of Starbucks.  I can hide a crushed spirit by watching a movie that takes me to another place for a few hours.  I can hide a broken spirit by playing music and cleaning my condo - cleaning makes me really happy.  I can hide my soul by piddling with technology for hours. I can hide my splintered and cracked heart with any number of resources in America.  Haitian brokenness is the same as my American brokenness, but they can't hide it as well as I can.  It is raw.  It is real.  There is no Starbucks.  There is no 24-hour fitness center.  There is no RAVE movie theater.  There is no mall.  The unemployment rate is disturbing - most women do not have an amazing job like I do.


BUT BEFORE I BECAME BURIED IN BROKENNESS, the LORD reminded me that "the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time."  (Romans 8:22) For a thought-provoking version of this passage read Romans 8:22-25 in The Message.


All this brokenness is our GROANING. . . groaning for our Savior's return.  Groaning for the pain we see in an American teenager who chooses an eating disorder to hide her brokenness.  Groaning for the pain of a Haitian teenager who is living in a tent.  Groaning for my best friend and her husband as they wait for their Haitian son to sleep in his bed on Lookout Mountain.  Groaning for my missionary friend in Haiti who is balancing her life as a mom with her many duties at the orphanage.  Groaning for my parents as they watch my grandmother slip further into the greedy fingers of Alzheimer's. Groaning for that 10-year-old in Kansas who was starving for authentic love and food from her mother.  Groaning for the 90+ orphans at Maison to go home to their forever families.  Groaning for Italy or England to score in this soccer match. . . I don't care which one. Groaning for the pain my Jesus endured on the cross because of my ridiculous sins.


Maybe groaning and brokenness keep me leaning on Jesus and focused on my Father's love - instead of a $4 Starbucks drink.  Maybe groaning and brokenness should be my personal motivators that push me toward the shattered lives around me - the ones in America and the ones in Haiti.  Maybe I should face my own brokenness with the raw courage of the Haitians that I am living life with right now.  Maybe I am rambling because I do not know what the heck I should do with all this disturbing brokenness.


-Shelley

P-nut butter and my God

Team 1 left last night, and we miss them so much.  Mary Zeglen, Corrie Oates, Ruth Neely and I will be working, waiting, and playing until Team 2 arrives.  Carlee Hilger also stayed because precious Kervens (her Haitian son) has the chicken pox, and she is taking care of him this week.  Kervens has learned several songs, his alphabet, and numbers.  Carlee is teaching him so much in such a short visit - including to refrain from Haitian potty talk!!!! We have met a precious teacher named Julie who is adopting twins from Maison; she is also staying with us this week.  Julie is teaching at Maison over the next 5 weeks.  Her passion for the children at Maison is so obvious! It is wonderful to watch God connect hearts in Haiti.

My heart has been heavy today - I'm missing Team 1, and I don't understand the lengthy adoption process in Haiti.  The more I read about it, the more I feel like I am swimming in p-nut butter.  Can you imagine trying to swim laps in a big pool of p-nut butter?  I applaud and celebrate the mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, cousins, orphanage owners, and missionaries who courageously embark on the adoption journey.  YOUR LOVE, PERSEVERANCE, AND COURAGE IS SUCH AN AUTHENTIC REFLECTION OF OUR FATHER'S FAITHFUL PURSUIT OF HIS CHILDREN.

HE wades through and rescues me from the disgusting p-nut butter pool of my sin every day!
I am so thankful that my GOD is sovereign!

In His Grip,
Shelley George

This morning the first sentence said, "I am the firm foundation on which you can dance and sing and celebrate My Presence. "  After 2 precious days in Haiti, we can dance, sing and celebrate because of HIS Presence.  Our hearts break because we see extreme poverty and precious brown children waiting for their forever families, but WE ALSO SEE AUTHENTIC JOY.  Joy that flows from HIS firm foundation.  Joy that makes me pray that each day passes slowly because of what we have the privilege to experience.  I have posted a few photos that will hopefully allow you to see our JOY!  Parents, this is the first time the internet has worked long enough for me to post pics.
In His Grip,
Shelley (GG)

Spiritual Blessings and lots of Haitian Babies

Precious people,

We have had very little internet access over the past few days, so please be patient as students continue trying to contact you and send photos.  We literally have 5-minute "pops" of access.  Early this morning I had written a blog and attached photos, but it was lost in cyberspace abyss when we lost our internet connection . . . however, that is not why we are in Haiti.  Our focus is not to upload pictures of our adventures or to write about our daily life. Yes, we want to do that, but it is not our focus.  Our focus is to meet Jesus daily and ask for His guidance as we love our new Haitian friends and family.  Our students have been so precious!  There has been lots of the following:

painting classrooms, holding babies, jumping rope, feeding children, reading to children, hugging children, running with children, playing soccer, unloading and organizing donated supplies, etc.  Every night we have a big team devotion, and I can't describe the Holy Spirit's presence during that time.  The spiritual insights, wisdom, and humility of our teenagers is beyond anything I could have imagined.  God's presence is overwhelming!  I can barely sleep because of the work HE is doing in our hearts.  What a privilege and treasure to behold the miracle of God's work in a human heart!  

Love and blessings to all!

In His Grip,

Shelley (aka:GG)